Regan Darcy's Riverboarding Adventures

BOB LIVES...

I woke up early, and right after breakfast, headed out to make the rounds at the local clothing stores. The first two said no. And good thing too - their mannequins were basically headless, legless and armless torsos.

Thats when I saw him. BOB.

Standing in a window modelling a fetching polo shirt/swimming trunk ensemble. His vacant metro sexual stare seemed to say, "Nevis? WHAT-EVER."

And he'd look good doing it. Queer eye for the str8 guy meets extreme riverboarding.

Anyway, the manager(Sarah Tallboy) seemed more than happy to help us out. After all, it was for a good cause. Bob would be helping save lives(namely our OWN) -and testing out equipment at the same time.

I watched as Sarah slowly undressed Bob. Thats when it hit me. I'm going to have to carry Bob NAKED through the streets of Queenstown all the way back to the hostel!!!

Oh GREAT. There goes any "street cred" I had with the local adrenaline junkies.

Well I thought as Sarah passed me a now fully naked Bob...gotta take one for the team. They were counting on me.

I paused for a moment at the door to the store, took a deep breath, and then grabbed Bob by the buttocks(the ONLY place stable enough to keep his body from falling apart) and headed thru town.

And YES...it was everything you imagined it to be. Tourists were snapping pictures. Patrons and employees came out of shops pointing and laughing. Cars honked.

You know those dreams you have, where you are trying to run, but you just don't seem to be moving? Well...thats how it felt.

As I rounded the corner, Docta P, Ice and Kevin saw me through the upstairs window of the hostel, and started taking picutures.

At this point I just didn't care anymore, so I stopped in the middle of the intersection and posed with naked Bob for the strangest photoshoot Queenstown has probably ever had.

Finally I made it back to the safety of the hostel, but not before I had to hear the front desk guy make a crack about "No Hanky Panky" allowed. Har! Har! Har!

I passed two very hot girls in the hallway.

Man, I had to get Bob in a wet suit and FAST!

Actually once Bob was fully decked out in our gear, he looked ready to tackle HUKA!

Too bad we didn't think of this while on the North Island. Next trip perhaps.

We packed Bob in the van and off we went. There was some construction going on at the cliffs by Nevis, so we had to delay Bobs maiden voyage.

Instead we made a stop at the local Bungie Jump site and Docta P jumped naked. It was actually quite funny, and I think the local Japanese tourists had the pictures on the web before Docta P was able to get dressed. Technology!

Once back at Nevis, the coast was clear and we headed for the drop in point. We left Bob there ducked taped to Ice's board, his wet suit stuffed with rocks for proper weight - and then Ice drove us back to the bluff overlooking Nevis.

Me and Kevin were going to shoot pics and video of Bob's historic run. Docta P was just going to observe since he was running it next.

There were a group of really cool kayakers from Europe watching too, and some tourists as well. The Kayakers were "hip" to our plan, but the tourists ACTUALLY thought our "friend" Bob was about to come down the river. Oh dear.

Just then Ice raced back in the van and jumped out. Sure enough, a few moments later, we could see Bob coming around the bend upstream.

We all started yelling down the cliff words of encouragement like, "COME ON BOB!" "You CAN DO IT BOB!" or "PICK A GOOD LINE BOB!"

I started shooting video, but was laughing so hard my hand was shaking like a spastic.

Bob hit the first line real well, but ran into some trouble by going left when he should have gone right, and he was swallowed in a big hole. "BOB!!!" we yelled. Bob popped through, but was at this point hanging off his board in an awkward position. He proceeded to get bounced around and ended up upside down as he dissappeared around the last bend downstream.

The tourists looked worried. And asked if our friend was ok?

We were just laughing hysterically.

They must have thought us mad. Ha!

We jumped back in the van and raced to the take out spot.

After a half an hour, we realized that Bob wasn't coming. He must have gotten hung up on some rocks between Nevis and the take out. I decided to chill and wait. Docta P was going to run it, and left with Ice and Kevin to film.

Another half an hour later, part of the European kayakinggroup strolled down to the river's edge and kept me company. They were waiting for 5 of their friends who just ran Nevis. They were really cool and nice. I wished I remembered all their names, but I don't. they had been in New Zealand since November. Having all that time, allowed them to do some of the things we were unable to do, like run Huka(it was at 45 and runnable back in December). The only girl in the group was from London and super cool. I admired how they were living off the grid and having a blast. We were doing the same thing, albeit on a much tighter schedule. I made a vow then that if we were to return to NZ, that it'd be for a much longer stay.

Anyway, one at a time, their friends slowly came around the corner. None of them had Bob. Thats when Ice, and Kevin came down to the water. Turns out Ice talked Docta P out of running Nevis on this trip. We were just too tired.

Suddenly, the last kayaker came round the bend...with Bob. To our horror(or delight) Bob was worse off then we originally thought. He was ripped in half for starters. He had a crack in his side that ran from his chest to his waist and his body was full of scratches from pounding up against the rocks. His wet suit was almost completely off, and if it wasn't for his hand being duct taped to the board, and the vest(provided by American Rescue)being leashed to it as well, Bob would not have made it back at all.

We each grabbed a part of Bob(i got the torso this time, and NOT the buttocks!) and headed back up to the van.

Bobs various body parts were completely water logged, and it was obvious we couldn't return Bob to the store from wense he came.

His life as a window mannequin was OVER.

He had tasted the sweet freedom of life on the river, and wanted more. He was destined for greater things. But what?

We reassembled Bob naked and began to brainstorm where to place him. It was eventually decided that the entrance to the Queenstown Bungie Jumping Center was the perfect venue for Bob's final resting place. How fitting that we leave him butt naked at such a symbolic place of NZ's extreme nature.

So we propped him up on this tower by the side of the road for all passing motorists to admire his naked form.

Ice came up with the idea of making a sign out of duct tape next to Bob that read "JUMP NAKED!"

We admired our handy work, and then drove off cracking up.

YES...we had truly left our mark in NZ.

New Zealand Revisted...

Ok. I am back in NY. I've recovered from my jet lag. I've done my taxes. Its Time to return to my NZ blog and finally write about my last few days there. After all, thats what this blog was ORIGINALLY intended for.

Now where was I? Ah yes. In my last NZ entry, I was saying goodbye to the North Island and Me, Docta P, Ice & Kevin were heading down to Queenstown(ground zero for all things Extreme in NZ).

Now to be totally honest, I was the only one in the group who hadn't...up until that point actually BOOKED a ticket to Queenstown. I guess before I even arrived in NZ, I figured I'd hedge my bets. See if I actually LIKED riverboarding(and the guys I was riverboarding with) first. If i had a blast on North Island, I could just buy a ticket to South Island later. I already seemed to like the others in the group thru our email correspondence, but you never know.

As it turned out, I had more fun then I even imagined. Not only had I become addicted to riverboarding by the end of our stay on the North Island, I had bonded with 3 souls who had in that short time become good friends. We had a blast.

So as we drove to the Auckland airport, I KNEW I was going. Even though my thighs were pounded black and blue and aching...I knew I was going to Queenstown. Just strap me to my board I thought. I'll be fine. I wasn't going to miss out on the fun.

Queenstown didn't dissapoint either. A small town at the edge of lake Wakatipu(NZ's 3rd largest lake) and surrounded by the mountain range known as the "Remarkables" it is bustling with activity. At first glance, it looks like any other ski town you may see in Colorado, like Vale, Breckinridge or Steamboat. That is...until you take a closer look, and realize that the WHOLE town is dedicated to adrenaline junkies from all over the world. EVERY other store is "Extreme" this or "Extreme" that. Bungie jumping. Jet boats. Riverboarding. You name it. This list goes on.

When you look up, hang gliders and para sailors dot the sky. Swooping over the town like colorful reminders to all, that they have entered a place where staying in your hotel, and watching tv is NOT an option. This is a place where participation is a requirement.

If I were 22 again, and fresh out of college, I'd live here for a year. HEY! I still might! It truly is a beautiful place.

That first night, we settled into our digs at one of the many hostels. A word to those on a budget, the hostels are very reasonable...and I gladly paid. But security is non existent, and if you wanted to, you could easily just walk in after hours and crash on a vacant bed without paying. There was NO night watch and the front door was never locked. Um...not that I'm SUGGESTING you do this.

Anyway, it was too late to run anything, so we caught up on some webstuff(hostel had free internet) and Ice and I even rode up the mountain on the tram to get a spectacular view of the town below.

Thats where Ice and I saw a display for one of the local attractions called "The Luge". It featured a dummy with a helmet on one of the sleds that you pay to ride down the mountain.

I told Ice of my childhood, and how my brothers and I built a dummy we called "Ottis" who we used to throw into the street and off of buildings. Ice laughed.

Then we both looked at each other...What if we built a dummy to test run Nevis on? Ha! Great minds think alike.

Well, The seed was planted.

That night was Valentines day and couples were out in full force. The women of Queenstown were hot to be sure. And many of them were, like us foreigners. We were offered free drinks at many places, but passed them up for a huge meal at a local burger joint(Furgburger) and some much needed rest.

The next day we ran Citroen on the Kawarau. We met up with a local river company called "Serious Fun" who were also going to run it. I was shocked to see all of them using beach boogie boards. The ones I was used to riding my whole life. Perhaps they were lighter on the water with them. I would have liked to try one. By today though, my legs were pretty banged up, and I needed ALL the protection I could get.

We ended up running it once with serious fun, and then a few times more after they left. We got some good footage.

The tough part was a class 5 section with a choice to go right or left. Go too far left, and get mashed up against the wall like Docta P did. He got some awesome helmet cam footage though.

Go too far right, and you get bounced around in a rock filled pool like I did. Ouch...my THIGHS hate me! Note to self: INVEST IN SOME THIGH PADS next time.They seem to be the ONLY part of my body getting hammered on this trip. Except for the "Ball crunching incident that we will not speak of.

But if you ran it perfect right or left, you shot right thru like a rocket. I ran it once on Ice's board, which was like floating on a raft it was so buoyant. Next trip, I want to try a carlson and also the one Kevin uses(ripboard). Although I REALLY liked the one I used by Rocky Mountain Riverboards. It seemed like the perfect combination of bouyancy and hard bottomed protection. Thumbs up to the guys at RMR.

After we ran it a few times, we headed over to scout Nevis. Nevis, according to the guidebook was the "pinnacle" of NZ whitewater. Notorious for chewing up kayakers like gum. It had to the best of our knowledge not been run by a riverboarder since 1997.

Docta P and Ice were going to give it a shot on the last day and Kevin and I were going to film the historic event.

But first we had to see WHAT would happen to a riverboarder going through Nevis.

Thats where "BOB" came in. Bob was going to be our test dummy. I'd get up early the next day and ask around the local clothing stores for a spare mannequin. Sounded like a plan. Bob would be the first in 9 years to run Nevis on a riverboard.

By the time we got back and did some web stuff, it was late. We ate at some "Chinese" restaurant run by a bunch of clueless Japanese, and ended up waiting an eternity for some water, let alone someone to take our order. I thought Docta P was going to rip the owners head off. Luckily for the owner we were too sore, tired and beat up to take action, and someone finally took our order.

We ate like it was going out of style. The food was good which made up for the lousy service.

Afterwards, we hobbled back to the hostel. It was going to be a long day tomorrow and BOB was going to have to be constructed early....

Riverboarding in Taiwan?

Ok...so I still have to finish my NZ blog trip recap. Don't worry...I will. I've been reading Ice's latest entries(we are ALL playing catch-up)...and I am laughing because so many memories are coming back. We had a GREAT trip, and like Ice writes, what made it extra cool was the friendships formed. I can't think of a cooler bunch of strangers to be thrown together with. We bonded immediately, shared the same twisted sense of humour, and had a blast. I can't wait to finish my NZ blog.

But first alittle on Taiwan(where I am at now). My brother and I spent the week hiking around Taiwan's mountainous East Coast, namely a place called Taroko Gorge. Like NZ, it is truly a land that time forgot. Its not the rainy season yet, so the rivers are fairly dry...but I found myself noticing the rocks(more like boulders the size of 3 story houses) that littered the river bed and thinking...WOW...imagine what it'd be like during the rainy season?? I GOTTA tell Ice, Docta P & Kevin about this place. Yup...I've been bitten by the riverboarding bug. I'm thinking like a riverboarder now. How the water would flow over the rocks. Where the sticky points would be. I kept pointing out to my brother what I had learned. I really can't wait to post pics for you all to see. I don't think that Taiwan's rivers have been explored much. For one thing, while NZ may be the "extreme capital" of the world, Taiwan is the complete opposite. Not that the Taiwanese are wimps by any stretch(they defy the Mainland on a daily basis)...its just that they have yet to tap into their awesome river system beyond sight seeing yet.

But there are dangers. Taiwan is the home to 10 very poisonous snakes. How do I know this? Well...um...I stepped on the 3rd poisonous(the Green Bamboo Snake) the other day wearing only sandles. Doh!!! Got a picture of it that I'll post later.

I also fell into some quicksand. Yup, he said quicksand. My bro had to pull me out with a branch.

Plus Taiwan was formed by the European and Phillipine plates thrusting up against each other(cue porn music now), and thus is plauged by earthquakes. This in turn causes a HUGE amount of falling rocks. And I thought worrying about the river was mentally and physically exhausting. Throw poisonous snakes and falling rocks, and you've got one helluva adventure. Now my brother and I didn't actually SEE any rocks fall. But we DID see their evidence EVERYWHERE. I'm talking massive damage. Obliterated trails. Smashed iron fences. Posters of missing people(presumed buried by falling rocks).

Yup. Sounds like a GREAT  future  riverboarding trip. Dontcha think? Hello?

Still here....

Sorry people. I know a blog is suppose to be updated at least...um... ONCE in awhile. I still have a few more days of NZ riverboarding stories to write about.

They are good ones too. Promise. So stay tuned.

Right  now though, I am still in Taipei Taiwan and my laptop is DOA. So I still can't upload pics and I am not on the net that much, um...besides now of course....when I happen to stop in one of the internet cafes here.

A word to the wise though. Taipei internet cafes are jam packed full of pimply faced teenagers playing online video games with each other. All you hear are explosions, gun fire and lots of chinese guys yelling in chinese at each other. Occassionally you'll hear one say "Yo DOG! SNAP! You SUCK!"  in a  chinese accent. Kinda funny when you hear a  chinese dude trying to talk like a hip hop rapper.

Needless to say, unless you want a headache to go with your websurfing...skip the internet cafes here.

All in all, Taipei is cool. Its alot like my hometown of NYC...only 10 times more crowded and everyone is Chinese. Forget  riverboarding, I should write about my adventures riding a motorcyle  in Taipei. The traffic here is INSANE. More dangerous then any waterfall I faced in NZ. (sort of).

I like it here and am having alot of fun, but at night, when my head hits the pillow, my mind keeps drifting to visions of my Jungle woman 10,000 miles away....I'm coming baby.

"Return to Kaituna"...

After our initial concerns about the levels of the Kaituna that first day in NZ, we were told today by the local Kaituna raft operators(more on those idiots later)..that "Yeah sure its runnable!" "Someone just ran it"...and "Go for it!"

So going on their thumbs up(up their asses is more like it)...we "went for it".

Turns out we were later to discover that the Kaituna was running at 3 friggin times its normal runnable volume.

Thats ALOT of water my friends, and it changes the whole way a river runs and creates a whole host of sticky traps just waiting to snare the unsuspecting riverboarder.

The plan was to run Kaituna and then we were to try our hands at the infamous Huka falls. But a call to the Huka hotline told us that the Huka was at level 290. What does that mean? Well, its considered "runnable" at 40 to 90 tops. It was once run by a kayaker at 160 who barely lived to tell the tale. So the Huka was out. Too bad the Kaituna didn't have a hotline.

More time on Kaituna then we ignorantly thought. Yay! We could run it a few times. Once to scout(since it was unscoutable from above) and the next few times to film. Done.

As it turned out, we only ran it once. And we all barely made it through that first time. No joke this time. It was for real folks. We were really lucky.

The Kaituna basically runs through a jungle, so alot of it is under the dark cover of the jungle canopy. It makes for a beautiful run, but one that is impossible to scout from above. Its also very twisty turny, with a series of falls and slides that eventually spill out over Tutea Falls, a 22 foot drop into the amazing sink hole surrounded by a wall of foliage covered rock. Its a very spiritual Maori place, and all of us were very excited to plunge over those falls into that aqua marine pool.

But it doesn't end there. After the drop into that pool, you go through another series of twists and turns and slides before you have to get out.

And I DO mean GET OUT.

For at the end of the run is TROUT FALLS, which has broken many an ankle and claimed more then 18 lives. There is a take out point about 30 yards from Trout Falls. Miss that, and you have one last chance around the bend - but its harder to get to and risky. I knew I had to hit the first take out.

We decided to do the first run without cameras, so there is no documentation of our one and only attempt of Kaituna or of anything that transpired. So my words are my only document.

We had no idea of the volume. We had no idea what was about to happen. We had been told(once again by the local rafting company boneheads) that we should run the river right, especially after the old power station. There was a big concrete block in the middle of the river, and we were told to stay right at ALL costs. Going left there was suppose to be a bunch of twisted metal girders.

Go right, and you go over "Okere Falls", which are a couple of  falls close together. No problem we were told.

Docta P was first. Then Kev. Then Ice, and then me. Up until that point, the Kaituna was fun and choppy. But you could tell we were moving FAST.

Suddenly we were at the concrete block. Docta P went right. Kev got sucked left and dissappeared. Ice turned around and frantically pointed right. He just made it. But despite all my kicking, I too went left. SHIT!

Thats when I went over a rocky slide and went under. Before I did go under, I noticed the twisted mass of metal girders to my left. Then I was under and being tossed around violently.

When I popped out, much to my relief, I was past the girders...but still moving fast. Kev was clinging to a root on the right side of the river. On the Kaituna, there are NO rocks to climb onto. No shore to paddle to. You are walled in on either side by sheer foliage covered walls.

I made it over to kev, and grabbed a root. The current was so strong, that occassionally the root you were holding would snap, or you'd lose your grip, and you'd go sliding down the river until you could grab another root.

Kev & I were trying to figure out if Ice and Docta P went past us when we were under water or were they in trouble above us. I was alittle disoriented from my ride under water. There was no way to get upstream to find out, so we waited a bit. Kev got swept out and I managed to pull him back.

Eventually though, we had to do something, and letting go was the only option. Which I did, followed by Kev...and was immediately swept out again. I didn't know exactly what was ahead, or how long before the 22 foot fall, so I just held onto my trusty Rocky Mountain Riverboard and tried to enjoy the ride.

But with our seperation from Ice & Docta P, the rest of the ride took on an ominous and scarier then usual tone.

There were a few nasty points too. Another small waterfall that kept pulling me back and wouldn't let me get away. I finally relaxed since kicking was futile, and eventually I was spit out of its grasp enough to continue down the river. I also turned a sharp corner once and hit a rock on a small slide that threw me off my board and slammed me in the thigh(where else?!!) pretty hard. But I was able to right myself and make it to the river's edge. I looked around, but Kev was nowhere in sight. I waited for a long time, and was about to go again, when Kev appeared around the corner.

We both stayed at the rivers edge holding onto roots trying to catch our breaths. The 22 foot falls had to be coming up soon. Thats when I noticed we were being SWARMED by mosquitoes.

Now when faced with a 22 foot waterfall or a swarm of blood sucking skeeters...I'll choose the falls EVERY time.

So I let go and was heading downstream again. The river became real twisty and got really dark. I knew Tutia Falls came out of a dark patch of jungle, so I knew I was getting close. I remember someone saying there was a rock cutout before the falls, that you could pause at. But I didn't know which side.

As I turned a bend in the river I saw the edge of the falls. I also saw the rock cut out on the right, just 10 feet from the falls, and I kicked like mad for it.

MaDe it! Again, Kev was nowhere in sight. There was no way out but down. I tried to crane my neck over the edge to see if Ice or Docta P were in the pool below, because thats where they surely would be waiting for us - but I couldn't see anything.

I took out my whistle from my American Rescue vest and blew...but there was no way anyone would hear it over the roar of the falls. Just then Kev started floating by. I reached out and grabbed him into the cut out. There was barely enough room for the two of us.

Again we caught our breath. Ok. WHO goes first? Ha!

It was decided Kev was to go first since he had the rescue line. I think I heard him mumble a prayer, and then off he went yelling "YAHOOooooo!" as he plunged over the edge and out of sight and sound.

Then nothing. Did he get clear? Did he get sucked under that nasty undercut rock Ice was so worried about? Again I was thinking how useful some waterproof walkie talkies would be in this situation.

If I go now, will I hit him? Or end up getting my neck snapped under that rock? And where the hell were Ice & Docta P???

Just then I saw Kev's helmet on the far end of the pool. So...he had made it. Good news. But if Ice and Docta P weren't with him, then something DID happen to them, and I had to get down there ASAP.

That sense of urgency, helped me, and I simply swam out and over the edge yelling my own...um..."unique" battle cry as I plunged downward.

Its a strange feeling going over a waterfall...especially such a high one as this. You SEE things, but in quick flashes. It all happens so fast, that its hard to take it all in. You hear the thundering sound of water and then it all goes dark. You have hit the bottom. Thats the scary part, because I was imagining being sucked under that rock cut out, and having my "neck snapped" as Docta P put it.

But just as I was thinking this, I popped up and out...clear of the nasty rock. Some kayakers watching from the observation deck later told me that I was under for a ridiculous amount of time.

I paddled over to Kev whose face was scratched up pretty bad. He was wearing a Chinese motorcycle helmet with a communist star on it for this trip. Apparrently it had been knocked off twice on this run. My helmet by Gath with the flip up visor was performing amazingly well. Like I said, the ONLY part of my body getting hammered on this trip were my thighs. Guess thats the price you pay for riverboaring when you're over 6'4" tall.

Back to reality. Ice & Docta P were obviously in trouble. We decided to proceed to the take out to see if they were down there. Once again, I let go and headed down the river. There were more twists and turnss and some scary drops. The water was moving so fast. Thats when I realized the first take out was suppose to be river left...and I was river right....FAR RIGHT.

I started kicking as hard as I could. My thighs were so sore from the last few days of pounding, but I gave it all I had. Just then I saw the take out coming up. I was going to make it!

So what do I do? I stop kicking.

Word to the wise. DON'T stop kicking when crossing a river. Just because a take out is within reach doesn't mean you can slack off.

Because as soon as I stopped kicking, bye bye take out point. It sped past me in a flash. I managed to grab the very LAST root sticking out on the rivers edge before it turned around the corner.

My board was being pulled behind me and the leash went taught. There was TREMENDOUS force pulling me, and I realized with horror, that there was no way I could hold on. And I couldn't let go, because I knew I wouldn't make the second takeout...my legs had no kick left in them. You have NO idea how strong a river is until you are in its pull. You may think you are strong...but trust me...mother nature will bitch slap you EVERY time.

I knew I had to pull my emergency release on my American Rescue vest and quick. For a milli second I thought about losing the board...but then it was like HEELLLOooooo! Let it GO you MORON!

So I pulled the release and the pressure went off my arms and body enough to give me alittle relief. I looked back, and noticed that the board was stuck on the edge pinned behind my feet. Cool I thought. If I could just hold this postion, I could save myself AND the board.

Just then I looked upstream and saw Kev kicking madly for the takeout. With my free hand I helped him from going past me. When he got onshore, he threw me a rope and I made it back on land too. But my board went bye bye. Around the bend and over trout falls. Better it then me.

We were definitely were relieved. All in all it was a fun run. But with Ice & Docta P unnacounted for...it we were anything but stoked. They weren't at the base of Tutia, and they weren't at the take out.

Something BAD happened and chills ran up our spines. I stayed at the take out in case they came by, and Kev hitched a ride from an old couple to the put in spot.

About a half hour later Kev showed up and said Ice was in the car. He comfirmed my fears that something bad indeed happened. Okere falls had turned out to be extremely nasty and held them underwater for an insane amount of time. It was bad folks, and I'll let them tell it from their own perspectives. The silver lining was that they were alive.

When I got to the car Ice was just sitting in the drivers seat, not saying a word. We exchanged looks, and shook hands, but drove back to Docta P at the put in without saying a word.

Docta P was waiting at the put in with a bunch of the local Rotorua firemen. The head guys name was Des, and he was a very animated chap. He was so excited to meet us. Apparrently word was out about some "Crazy Americans" riverboarding the Kaituna at 3 times the normal volume, and he drove down to meet us. Des was a great guy and was particularly interested in our equipment. We hooked him up with one of our boards, and the contact info to help outfit his team in Rotorua for river rescue.

Des had an assistant, a young Maori kid named "T". T knew more about the people and wildlife of NZ then anyone we had met so far. He told us what trees you could get drunk off of by eating the fruit, or how to make a paste from another tree that would numb your mouth if you had a tooth ache. Or even which trees you could make poison darts from. COOL!

When we said our goodbyes, we regrouped and decided to visit Huka to pay our respects. As we drove the shock of what happened gradually gave way to one of relief and commeraderie. We were ALIVE. Laughter started filling the car again.

Like I said earlier, Huka was running at 290. When we arrived, it didn't dissapoint. Huka was MASSIVE. It was absolutely unrunnable at this level. The sheer power was staggering. I thought the kaituna was moving fast...this thing was a blur. Anyone going over Huka at this level would be meeting the choir invisible for sure. I've never seen Niagra Falls, so Huka is my new benchmark now as far as falls go.

We met a guy(another kayaker) from Colorado, who was taking some time off before his master's and living in NZ. So many people we met were doing this. He told us of a great pizza place in town and of a nice natural hotspring to soak in.

So off we went. Pizza was suppose to be rated 3rd best in the world. But my friends...after a life threatening run on big water...ANYTHING tastes good. To me, at that time, it WAS the BEST in the world(even though I knew it wasn't. That honor clearly goes to Joe's on Bleecker in NYC).... But I was that hungry. We ordered two large pies and chowed down.

The hotsprings were nice. There was a slight crowd there. I actually prefered the cooler part...felt good on my sunburned neck.

We soaked for awhile and then left...deciding to make a last minute visit to Aratiatia...another run we were contemplating but didn't get to run. The sun was going down and when we arrived at Aratiatia, we saw another massive run. There was no water in it, because its Dam released...but the canyon was just insane. Full of large towers of rock. I can only imagine what it would look like full of raging whitewater. Its not really mentioned in the guidebooks, because its...well...a suicide run. But it has been run(by kayakers). You just better know what you're doing.

The moon was full that night, and we got some cool shots. We wondered what it would look like flooded again, and then thought that would be a great opening to a DVD. Have the warning sirens blasting...the dam releasing this huge wall of whitewater....then cut to us on the rivers edge wating to jump in. Cool. : )

The next day we were to travel to Queenstown. Goodbye north island.

Day 2: Wairoa. Why-Roa? I'll tell ya WHY...

Because its THERE. Thats why. Hows that? Actually the Wairoa is one killer run and probably my fav of the trip. By the second day, I had adjusted to the river. Too bad we got a late start. The Wairoa is Dam released, so you have to run it at certain times or it gets really rocky. We just made it, although towards the end....YO! ADRIEN! Um...it got REAL Rocky, and my thighs took a hell of a pounding. I also took one hell of a shot to the family jewels when I went balls first into a rock. Ahem(!) But lets not dwell on that shall we?

Moving on. :-)

Sorry again about the no pics thing. But it may be awhile. My laptop just died a horrible death here in Taiwan. So I am stuck using internet cafes at the moment.

Ok...back to the Wairoa. There was a kayak race going on the river that day, so we had some company for a change. Although, where there are kayaks doesn't mean its safe for riverboarders. Kayaks I learned can go places riverboarders shouldn't dare. So seeing kayakers I learned is not automatically a good thing.

Now the Wairoa, runs through a rocky gorge that has a series of waterfalls and stretches with Ominous names like "Humpty Dumpty", "Mother's Nightmare", "Washing Machine", "Double Trouble", "Devils Elbow", "Rollercoaster", "Devils Cauldron" and the "Rock Garden".

But it was the inocuous sounding "the waterfall" that would end up giving us the most trouble. Yup. He said "the waterfall". Original right? But Thats all they call it. What makes the "waterfall" scary is that you have to practically hug the rock wall river left as you go over it, or you will fall into the "Toaster". The toaster is exactly what it sounds like, a narrow slot between the falls and another rock. Its a good 12 foot drop into it. You can get banged up pretty good in there before being spit out like a piece of toast. But even if you avoid the "Toaster", there is no gaurantee you are out of trouble, for at the base of the falls is a nasty hydraulic that will recycle you and keep you pinned agaisnt the rock wall.

One of our party would end up falling into the toaster, and another would get caught in that hydraulic I just mentioned. Who? Well, I'll tell you afterwards. I got alittle ahead of myself.

Back to the run itself. Like I said, the Wairoa is dam released. Which it does only 26 times a year. We got there late, so we couldn't put in before McClaren falls like we originally planned. I will post a pic of Mcclaren falls at both high & low levels to give you an idea. But trust me, this is one HUGE monstrous mountain of rock.

So we put in after the falls. Ice had his helmet cam on, so we hoped to get some kick ass footage this time.

I really liked this run alot, and my confidence level increased alot. Because to be honest, after my spill the first day, it was shaken a bit.

The Wairoa was cool because there are lots of rocks to jump onto and scout ahead. Also, like I said, that day there were alot of kayakers and rafters on the river, so we could tell what was coming up without having to get out.

I took the first few falls really well, and was having a blast. This was a REALLY cool run. Too bad we started late, because we could only run it once. The benifit of running a river multiple times is that you learn it and can relax alittle more each time, thus increasing the enjoyment factor. If anything, that would be my only real gripe about this trip. It was too short to do this sport justice.

But I'm not complaining. I got a hell of an introduction. And in a way the rushed nature of it kinda worked in my favor too. It didn't give me time to think of some of the crazy stuff we were attempting. Ignorance is bliss as they say. It can also be deadly as we would find out on day 3 however. But I digress.

So back to the Wairoa again. It was falls after falls after falls. Which again helped erase my newly formed fear of falls from just the other day.

The last fall however, the aptly named "The Waterfall", was where things grinded to a screaching halt. Ice went over first. We couldn't see over the edge, so we had no idea at the time what was on the other side. Like I mentioned earlier in the blog though, you all know you had to stay FAR river left to avoid the "Toaster". Well Ice with his years of training and lightning fast reflexes, deftly avoided getting toasted. But he did land in that nasty hydraulic that would not let him go. He was stuck. Pinned against the rock wall river left.

Kev, Docta P & I could see Ice's head over the edge of the falls. He was signaling for us to come over but to stay left.

However, there was also a river rescue raft floating at the base of the falls river right and yelling at him and us NOT to go. Apparrently ALOT of people were hurt there today. Of course we found this out later. Thats one thing about being on the river...hand signals only tell you SO much. I think one of the best investments next trip will be a set of waterproof walkie talkies. They would have helped TREMENDOUSLY on this trip.

Ok...back to the action. Ice was waving for us to come over. The rescue raft people were telling us to come around river right and not go over. Who did we listen too? Ice of course. But we waited until he was able to get clear of the falls first.

Kev went first. But at the top of the falls there is this nasty whirlpool that Kev got caught in and spun around and around. When he finally got clear, he didn't have enough time to adjust his line before going over. It was obvious he was going to be too far right. Over he went. Yup. He fell into the "Toaster".

The eerie thing is that I had a nightmare the night before about falling into such a "slot". Mind you, none of us knew about it on the Wairoa. I told the others of my dream on the way there that morning, about getting stuck in this watery crevice. I'm not saying I'm psychic or anything...but thats just WEIRD.

Ice's helmet cam gave out a long time before the "waterfall", so there is no footage of this awesome spectacle. But Ice told us Kev dissappeared for awhile and then was propelled out of the slot with such force that he shot out like a rocket. Kev later told us he got bounced around pretty good in there...and he has the photos to prove it(check his injuries on his blog).

When Docta P & I didn't see Kev appear, we knew there was trouble. At this point the rescue raft people were screaming and waving so violently that they looked like frantic muppets with river gear on. Mind you, when people are screaming at the top of their lungs from across a river at the base of a waterfall...you can't hear ONE WORD. But you can see their faces turn purple. They looked pissed.

So Docta P & I made our way river right and climbed over a bunch of rocks towards them rather then going over the falls and facing their purple faced wrath. Docta P was mumbling all the way about how it better be a damn good reason they didn't want us to go.

By the time we got over though, the rescue team had gone. Ice said they were EXTREMELY condescending and rude...and unlike rescue teams in America.

We regrouped and went over one last fall before running the rest of the course. By this time though, the river was a full 4 feet lower and my thighs were taking a pounding. Ice & Docta P's boards got stuck alot too because they were duct tapped around. My Rocky Mountain Riverboard with its hard plastic bottom rode over the rocks well. I just had to remember to lift my thighs out of the center cut out to avoid getting them hammered. But these first 2 days were a learning experience.

One thing about the low water level...its a great way to learn how to read whitewater. Its like a mini version of when its big. So You go slower and you can observe without having to concentrate on just hanging on. Because up until that point, that is what I had been doing. When its big and moving insanely fast...and you're a "newbie" like me, there is SO much information shooting thru your synapses...that you can't really stop and take careful notes. So I really enjoyed this end stretch. I really learned alot on it.

The rest of the run was a loooong stretch of flat water, which isn't so much an opportunity to learn, as it is a time to catch your breath and enjoy the funky NZ foliage.

Tomorrow? Day 3: "Return to Kaituna" or "How we REALLY REALLY almost Died".

What the @&#%??!!

"This was NO boating accident! And it wasn't jack the ripper either. It was a shark, and by the look of it, a very LARGE one."

Or so said Richard Dreyfus in the movie "Jaws".

Actually this was not a shark attack victim.

This is BOB, our test dummy after his historic run of Nevis Bluff on the Kawarau River. They said it hasn't been boarded since 1997. WELL...Bob sure showed em it could be done....with only...er...minor injuries.

But more on Bob later. I still have to finish blogging the first 4 days of the trip.

Stay tuned.

Catching up...what REALLY happened on Day 1...

Sorry folks. I know I promised daily updates. Turns out running the river all day doesn't leave much time in the evening to do much of anything. Especially since most internet access is unavailable after 7pm in some of the places we stayed.

So now I am in a cafe in Taiwan...one day after leaving NZ about to catch you all up to speed. Good thing I kept copious notes. I did lose my camera for awhile, so I will have to wait to get some pics from Ice. Until then, enjoy my descriptive words. So much has happened, its hard to know where to start. Ok...how about where I left off? On our first day in NZ.

Where was I? Oh yeah...I almost DIED! Now, if I had known what was to follow on the rest of the trip, I would have titled that first blog entry..."My First Happy Fluffy Day on the River". But at the time...it was kinda hairy...what with it being my first day on the river and all...ANY river. Hey...I'm an Ocean baby. Me know nothing about no stinkin river.

But there we were, going down our first stretch of river in Rotorua. It was called Pete's something or other...I can't remember. (OK...so my notes weren't THAT copious!). Anyway, it started out nicely with a wicked cool wave train that let me know how much fun riverboarding could be. A wave train is exactly what it sounds like...a long patch of really choppy waves that is hella fun to be in.

Oh I forgot...We were warned by a lone Kayaker on the road(I think his name was Bernie) before we put in, about the not so scary sounding "Rock A" at the begining of the run. He said he lost his Kayak at "rock A", which was suppose to be two rocks mashed together like fists. He pounded his fists together menacingly in front of our faces and said "You don't want to get caught between them mate! Chew you UP and spit you Out!"

Um...Oooo-kay.

He warned us like some character at the begining of a really bad horror movie. Or perhaps the John Cleese character "Tim the Enchanter" from the movie Monty Python & the  Holy Grail when he tried to warn King Arthur and his men about the killer Bunny Rabbit. "But  LOOK at the BONES!"

Turns out that "Rock A" was about as scary as it sounded. We past by it without incident or worry. Two fists my ass!

But...

What our good "friend" Bernie failed to mention to us however was the 8 foot water fall waiting right at the end of the wave train. Thanks Bernie. You started a trend that was to be the norm throughout the trip....REALLY REALLY REALLY BAD advice from the so called local experts.

Anyway...we hit the falls with no idea it was coming. Or at least I didn't. At that point I hadn't gotten to the "See spot run" level of river reading yet, so I didn't know that a foaming line at the horizon probably means theres a fall coming. Besides, I was underwater when I went over. "See Regan get mangled!"

Yeah...my first falls and I got knocked off my board and tossed around like a sock in a washing machine on heavy load. They say I was under for 8 seconds. It felt like an eternity. All I kept thinking was that I was going to slam into a rock. In the ocean there are no rocks. You spin around and around and basically pop up in the same spot. Here on the river I didn't know where I was or where I was going to pop up.

Eventually I did. And of course I had popped up on the other side of the river from the rest of the group. Thats when I learned my second lesson of the day. Crossing a river is REALLY REALLY hard! Especially at the base of a raging waterfall. Now if I had taken my time, I could have gotten across. But I was exhausted from my tumble and had the wind knocked out of me.

Ice made an attempt to get to me, but was swept downstream and out of site. I looked over to Docta P and Kev and they were waving for me to come over. So I launched off the rock wall on my side...AND...as soon as I hit the water was immediately swept downstream as well.

So much for crossing the river. Away I went, not knowing what waited for me down river. As I rounded each bend, I didn't see Ice. What I failed to realize, was that Ice had gotten out river right and was trekking thru the jungle back to the others.

Either I forgot, or we didn't go over how far we were going down this thing. But I kept floating down the river. La. La. La. It got pretty hairy a few times with some more spills. But I started to get the hang of it. Eventually I got the brilliant Idea to pull off river right and wait. And wait. And...OH...here comes Kev. Hey Kev! Um...Kev doesn't look too happy. Kev has to trek back thru 600 yards of the thickest, thorniest, steepest, most dense mutha F'in jungle in full gear and a board with me.

Finally we get back to the others who have run the falls a few times. Exhausted from my trek I enthusiastically jump back in too. Thinking that this time that I KNOW the falls are there, I'll end up on the right side of the river. WRONG. Same thing happened. At least I didn't get mangled this time. YAY for me! Also, I got over to the other side without being swept away again. Hey, I'm actually learning!

We got some cool pics, and then headed back thru more dense jungle to our car. Upon closer inspection of Kev's guide book, it says among other things..."DO NOT ATTEMPT TO HIKE BACK THRU THE JUNGLE!" Oh well...live and learn. We should have kept going downstream to a proper take out. Next time.

So that was my first day. Pictures to come. :-)

Stay tuned for "DAY 2: On the Wairoa" or "How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Just Go With the Flow"...

1st day riverboarding...or "How I almost died"...

Nah....just kidding. But I did get humbled by the power of the river. Yeah, thats me above going over my first fall. But more on that later.

Sorry about the delay...but by the time we come back each day, all the internet places are closed, and Rotorua is kinda remote, so no free wireless hotspots to be found.

Anyway to recap the trip so far.

Our first day was suppose to be Kaituna river. But because of the rain, the previous day, the water levels were dangerously high. Kevin wanted to do it, but Josh was against it. The highlight of the run is Taituna falls. Revered by the Maoiri as a holy place, it is spectacularly beautiful. The Falls come out of the forrest and pour into an enclosed pool surrounded by a circle of rocks and foliage.But because of all the rain, at the base of the falls was this MASSIVE hydraulic in an undercut rock that was violently erupting powerful plumes of water. What is a hydraulic? Well...not something you want to get sucked into thats for sure...especially one underneath a large undercut rock. Josh believed that anyone going over the falls would most likely be sucked into and under that section. Peter concurred, and added that anyone caught under there, and I quote: "Would surely have his neck snapped."

Um. That convinced me. Because up until that time, I hadn't been in the water yet, and was alittle cocky to say the least. I was perhaps falsely confidant from all my years of ocean riding. I looked at the falls and thought...WOW...fun.

But after hearing the two veterans express their concern, I began to think "Hmm...calm down sparky...there may be more to this riverboarding than meets the eye."

I was to learn and be humbled very soon.

To be continued....

Longest flight EVER...

Well, after 30 hours in a plane with my 6'4" frame cramped between seats so close together that my knees were almost touching my chest....the circulation has finally come back to me legs.

Oh...but wait. Theres another 5 hour bus ride to Rotorua.

Argghhhhh!

Man I am tired. AND HUNGRY. Its raining and dark. Everything is closed. So my first impression of NZ? Dark and rainy.

After tomorrow, I'm sure my impression will change.

Until then....nite all.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.